Personal Experience

I found that people at Oxford were extremely accepting of the notion of a male eating disorder sufferer. Whilst I know that this may not be true amongst the general population, it must be said that I didn’t encounter anyone within the university who didn’t believe that a man could have anorexia, nor was I ever made to feel like I suffered from a ‘girls’ disease”’ However, there is no escaping the fact that men are very much in the minority, and this does impact on a few things.

Firstly, it may be that anorexia (or indeed any ED) is less readily spotted by friends, and thus I think I found it easier to ‘get away with’ my behaviour for a longer period of time.

Secondly, whilst it is constantly improving, I found that 99% of the literature either in my textbooks or on the web was directed towards women. This is true in terms of discussion of potential causes (e.g. size zero female models, reversing effects of puberty), diagnostic symptoms (ceasing menstruation) and long-term consequences (female infertility). This can be quite frustrating as I found it harder to get relevant information; it also let me kid myself that I couldn’t be suffering from an eating disorder.

Thirdly, it took a decent amount of courage to attend groups such as Enough! knowing that it was highly likely that I’d be the only guy there. All I can say is that I was included in the group from the word go, and I was never made to feel that my gender was an issue. At the end of the day, I guess I had more in common with this group of girls than a random group of blokes. What I did miss was the opportunity to discuss topics that were male-centred, such as the impact of cultural expectations of masculinity. It is these times where the gender imbalance can really hit home.

Finally, although no one I told was ever shocked that a man was suffering from anorexia, I think that it is slightly harder for guys to tell friends and family that they have an eating disorder because of its ‘feminine’ reputation (supported by a ratio of 20:1 in favour of girls). I think that some people find it hard to appreciate a desperate desire to be thin when the ideal stereotype is of the well-built masculine athlete (just look at Daniel Craig!). Equally, the emotional vulnerability that surrounds eating disorders is a long way away from the stoically courageous male hero so often revered in our culture. This can lead to a dangerous emphasis on keeping the matter private and engaging in ‘self-treatment’ rather than approaching others for help. The ‘girly’ reputation really does impede the identification of sufferers, as well as admission of suffering.

There is a fascination that surrounds weight and dieting in females, and often it can feel quite lonely when there is not an intense media discussion about male body size in the same way. This last point may sound a bit perverse, but I found that it sometimes made me feel like there was a world of eating disorders - their development and their solution – that was inaccessible to me as a boy. Only stories from people like me can help to reassure you that there are many other men who struggle with disordered eating. I hope this is a problem that will attract an increasing amount of attention; in the meantime, know that you are far from being alone.